Life Advice
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Chef Considers Becoming Culinary Instructor
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a trained chef, culinary producer, published recipe author and former caterer. The television and culinary industries can both be unstable at times. A lot of the work I do is contracted for specific periods of time, meaning it's always a hustle to get new work. My last gig (with a major network) ended a few months ago. Since...Read more
Vegetarian Can Read Own Menu, Thanks
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been a vegetarian for 15 years. It never fails that once a fellow diner finds out this information, they immediately take it upon themselves to read aloud everything on the menu that I am "allowed" to have.
It's as if being a vegetarian means I can no longer read. I often don't divulge my eating preferences because of ...Read more
Single and Thriving: Readers Weigh In
Dear Readers: Many of you wrote to me in response to "Independent and Irritated." This 65-year-old single woman was struggling with how to reply to people who questioned why she never married despite her older age. So many readers wrote in to share their own similar experiences and suggest some wonderful replies to an invasive and awkward ...Read more
New Boyfriend Has A Hard Time Showing Affection
DEAR ABBY: I lost my husband in the middle of last summer. He had a long illness with strokes and Alzheimer's, and he was horrible to me. Out of our entire 40 years of marriage, we had only four good ones.
Over the last three years, a gentleman from work would help with things around the house that my husband could no longer do. He would talk ...Read more

Asking Eric: Neurodivergent aunt not invited to niece’s wedding
Dear Eric: A few months ago, I discovered I was not invited to my niece’s wedding this summer. She is the daughter of my only sibling. I was told when I asked my sister if I needed to save the date. I have attended my sister's other two children's weddings.
I should include that I am an adult, ASD Level 1. Most people would be familiar with ...Read more
Man Realizes Fear Of Deep Water On Vacation
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love beaches and sandy vacations, but somehow I also have a wild fear of deep waters. I don't think I ever come to that realization before -- probably because I'm never too far from shore and I'm tall -- which also makes me feel embarrassed about the whole thing.
Recently, I went to Mexico on vacation with a girl I'm dating. ...Read more
No Tip Jars At My Party, Please
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I hold an annual party, for which I hire a person to assist me in setting it up, maintaining the buffet and serving drinks. She has always done a great job.
At the most recent party, however, I noticed she had set up a tip jar next to the drinks. I was horrified. I went over and grabbed the jar, then pulled her aside and said...Read more
Setting Boundaries with an Overbearing Mother-in-Law
Dear Annie: My husband, "Jake," and I have been married for eight years. We have a 5-year-old son, "Caleb." For the most part, we have a solid marriage, but there's one issue that keeps coming up -- his mother, "Linda."
Linda has always been a little overbearing, but ever since Caleb was born, it's gotten worse. She stops by unannounced at ...Read more
Woman's Habits Take A Turn For The Worse
DEAR ABBY: I am married with two children, 6 and 4. I love them and my wife. When I met her, I knew she was a little messy. I am neat, tidy and generally organized. Over time, her behavior (specifically, cleanliness and tidiness) has grown worse. It's reached the point where she leaves her chewed-off fingernails where our children play barefoot....Read more

Ask Anna: Hooked on your ex's Spotify? How to let go for good
Dear Anna,
I've been broken up with my ex for almost four months now. I did everything the experts recommend — blocked him on social media, deleted his number and even asked mutual friends not to mention him. I was doing well until I realized I could still see his Spotify playlists even though I blocked him. Now I find myself checking them ...Read more

Asking Eric: Ex-best friend doubts friend’s grief
Dear Eric: Kate and I have been friends for more than 20 years. Over 10 years ago, I would’ve almost considered us best friends. My husband considered her husband his best friend. As years went by, Kate treated her husband so disrespectfully. Time went by and their children spoke to him terribly, too.
Unfortunately, he passed away ...Read more
Divorcee Struggles To Find Direction
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went through a divorce, and I'm struggling to figure out who I am now. There were no kids involved, so the breakup was really just between my ex and me. I thought I had my life figured out, but now that I'm on my own, I'm feeling lost. I've been so focused on being a partner for so long that I don't even know what I ...Read more
Share The Sidewalk! It's Not That Hard
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When walking or biking on a sidewalk or a trail, I often encounter three individuals walking or riding abreast. Instead of their moving to single file to let me pass, I'm forced to move aside to the grass or curb.
When I was walking on a narrow pier, keeping to my side, I was approached by this woman walking on my side rather...Read more
Overwhelmed Wife and a Sister Who Treats Me Like an ATM
Dear Annie: I've been married to my husband, "David," for 12 years. We have two kids, "Ella" (9) and "Lucas" (6). Lately, I've been feeling like I'm doing everything alone. David works long hours as an accountant, and I understand that his job is demanding, but when he gets home, he zones out on his phone or watches TV while I handle dinner, ...Read more
Dad Puzzled By The Lack Of Commitment From Daughter's Partner
DEAR ABBY: I am concerned about my daughter. She's in a nice relationship, which seems good. They have two beautiful sons, ages 4 and 2, good jobs, a nice home and nice families who show a lot of support. We are always there for one another.
My concern is that my daughter's partner will not move forward with an engagement and proposal of ...Read more
Single File: Father as Mother
A recent letter in this column has stirred up a virtual hornet's nest. It comes from a 30-something man who -- vigorously and rather unpleasantly -- stakes claim to nearly all parenting rights and privileges in his (hypothetical) marriage. At the moment, he's neither husband nor parent. But he has thought through the battles he'd wage. Example: ...Read more

Apply the burnt toast theory to online dating -- it may save your sanity
You may have heard of the “burnt toast theory.” If you haven’t yet (or need a quick refresher), the idea is this: If you burned your toast while making breakfast, you need to spend another five or 10 minutes making a new piece. That extra time might be annoying and cause you to run late, but it may actually be saving you from something ...Read more

Asking Eric: Daughter-in-law never acknowledges gifts
Dear Eric: Over the years my husband and I have given our son and daughter-in-law many gifts such as kitchen appliances, furniture, a car and other expensive items. These gifts have always been presented to both of them.
Our daughter-in-law has never acknowledged this. We don’t understand why. Our daughter-in-law has a very strong personality...Read more
Parent Wants To Confront Teacher About Son's Injury
DEAR HARRIETTE: My kid twisted his ankle at school today, and the teacher didn't do anything about it. My son told me that he was in pain and was struggling to walk, but instead of sending him to the nurse or calling me, the teacher told him to "walk it off." By the time he got home, his ankle was swollen, and I had to take him to the doctor. ...Read more
Shocking: Man Makes Up A Rule To Justify His Actions
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We threw a small potluck birthday lunch in the break room for one of our co-workers. About four of us contributed; we all work directly with her and know her the best.
We put the leftovers in the fridge, and later in the day, a co-worker who hadn't been at the party helped himself to them.
I'd mentioned that we were each ...Read more