Colleague Is Overly Dedicated To Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman at my job has been giving me hell. She works nonstop. She's often sending emails at 9 p.m. or 4 a.m. -- and she actually expects a response! Recently she chewed out one of my colleagues because she requested something at 6 a.m. and didn't hear back until 8 a.m., which is still outside of our normal business hours. It may come as no surprise but, yes, she is single and a bit older. She has thrown her whole self into work and expects everybody else to do the same. Her team is made up of all kinds of people, from young people who are just starting their careers to single parents with young kids and other people who don't necessarily put work over everything even though they do a good job. I'm worried that people may start to leave because of how she's treating them. How can I give feedback to someone who is above me without having to worry about backlash? -- Higher Rank
DEAR HIGHER RANK: If you have a relationship with this person, you could pull her aside and ask her if you can share something sensitive with her. After getting her blessing, tell her that you have noticed that she works odd hours and has become known for expecting staffers to respond immediately, outside of regular office hours. Some team members are getting frustrated, and you worry that it is impacting their attitude and productivity. Let her take it from there.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating someone for the past year, and I think we make a great pair. For a number of reasons, I feel like he's my person. Over time, we've had some conversations about what the next step would be between us, and although he's told me that he loves me, he's also expressed that he's not sure about committing to a monogamous relationship. In our latest conversation, he finally pitched the question I feared, and he asked me to be in an open relationship. He's invited me to establish boundaries that he would happily abide by and says that I am the only one he would be emotionally attached to. Should I give this a try, or am I bound to get hurt? -- Polygamy Proposal
DEAR POLYGAMY PROPOSAL: Ask yourself what you want out of this union. Do you feel that you can be in an intimate relationship with this man if he is involved with others? How would you feel if you knew he was going to spend time with someone else? He can't guarantee that he won't get emotionally attached to another person. What's more important, though, is how you are able to handle knowing what is or could be happening.
I will give your boyfriend this: Rather than cheating and lying about it, he is being upfront with you about his desires and intentions. You now need to be honest with yourself about whether this is something that you can or want to handle.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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