Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
The Hidden Struggles of Nurses: Voices from the Frontlines
Dear Readers: So many of you wrote in about the nurse column, and I truly appreciate your feedback and your service. Nursing is one of the most vital professions, and nurses deserve both respect and protection for the critical work they do.
Below are two perspectives from fellow nurses.
Dear Annie: As a fellow veteran nurse, I wanted to ...Read more

Asking Eric: Husband keeps kicking wife out of their house
Dear Eric: I have been in a relationship with my partner for six years. We have two young daughters. The first year was really rough; he was in active addiction, and we lived homeless in my car, in a disgusting motel and even slept outside in the winter. After a few jail trips and two rehab trips, he finally got sober and has been for almost ...Read more
When Love Languages Don't Match
Dear Annie: I've been married to a wonderful man for seven years, and we have a strong, loving relationship. However, after Valentine's Day, I found myself feeling a bit sad.
In all our years together, my husband has never given me flowers -- not for Valentine's Day, our anniversary or any other special occasion. Gifts, in general, don't seem...Read more

Asking Eric: Relative judges family members who sell drugs
Dear Eric: I don’t consider myself a “square” but I’m having a hard time reconciling some relationships. My cousin‘s family now owns a weed store and even sells THC-infused food they can consume while in the store. My good friend did LSD at her son‘s wedding. I feel very judgmental about their choices, and I don’t know if I should ...Read more
When Resentment Creeps In: Learning to Choose Better
Dear Annie: I'm a 64-year-old woman, and I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love deeply. We've been together for over a year, and he's a kind, loving man who happens to be on dialysis. I take care of him, and while I don't resent it, it does make life more complicated. I've also been through a lot -- 35 years of marriage that ended in divorce...Read more

Asking Eric: Couple reaches stalemate over divorce
Dear Eric: I told my husband I was done in our marriage during a marriage-counseling session close to nine months ago. This was our second round of marriage counseling. I have also done some therapy on my own. I have not taken any actions to indicate I'm done other than to occasionally remind my husband that I'm the one that wants out when he ...Read more
Toxic Co-Worker Ruins Retirement Job
Dear Annie: I retired early from a stressful job about a year ago and now work part-time in an office with one other full-time secretary who started at the same time I did. She pushes most of the work onto me while she spends most of her day on her cellphone or shopping online. When my work is done, I sometimes use my phone for personal tasks,...Read more

Asking Eric: Husband’s ex’s ashes are still in the garage
Dear Eric: I have been married to my husband for 16 years and we have a wonderful, blended family. Our kids are now grown (ages 26-35). My husband’s first wife died of a drug overdose/swimming accident 23 years ago. They were in the process of a divorce at the time.
Her ashes are in a box in our garage. Many times, over the years, they were ...Read more
Is Unsolicited Parenting Advice Ever OK?
Dear Annie: I believe it's a bad idea for people to share their unsolicited opinions on other people's parenting, especially not someone like me, who is young, single, childless and barely knows what to do with my own life.
Still, I can't help but worry about my brother's lifestyle. His house is a mess, and not just a "child lives here" kind ...Read more

Ask Anna: My coworker-turned-boyfriend won't let me break up with him
Dear Anna,
I've been dating a coworker (we're both in our early 30s) for two months, and for the past month, I've been trying to end things. Every time I attempt to break up, he argues until I'm exhausted and emotionally shut down, then convinces me to stay by promising he'll change or telling me I'm misinterpreting his behavior. Things have ...Read more

Asking Eric: Asking Eric: Friend complains about politics but does nothing
Dear Eric: I have a friend who I've been friends with for about 10 years. We both share views that lean left. In the past we've shared many dinners discussing the inequities of our country and other political type topics. My friend is constantly lamenting about how unfair our society is and is super empathetic to the plight of the disadvantaged,...Read more
Managing Money With Mother-in-Law
Dear Annie: My mother-in-law recently moved in with us after a very (thankfully) minor stroke. She has NO savings, and up until that point she was working sporadically just to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly.
If I may backtrack back to the no savings ... For the past 30 years, she has literally laid in bed and watched TV all ...Read more
Single File: Reader Mail
DEAR SUSAN: Hopefully by now you've gotten some email in support of your position on the engagement ring issue. This widely and fervently held and programmed belief is just one more symptom of the stranglehold marketing has on our culture, overriding all. -- Mike
DEAR MIKE: You and I may be the only humanoids on planet Earth who see the ring ...Read more

The reason we can't move past the person we can't have
The story starts the same. You like someone. They like you. You continue liking this person. This person stops liking you (or never did?) and pulls back. You like this person more. This person, feeling smothered, continues to pull back. You continue to obsess more.
Why is this, though? Why should a person’s feelings actually grow the less and...Read more

Asking Eric: Facing a terminal illness, woman battles loneliness
Dear Eric: I am a 47-year-old woman and was diagnosed with a rare terminal illness three years ago after several years of investigations. I have a rough time frame of six to 10 years. I have no family and no close friends. The only person I see is my neighbor who is also my cleaner, but that’s the only time I see her. I am totally alone, ...Read more
Asking My Husband for Financial Transparency
Dear Annie: I've been married for over 20 years, and my husband has always handled our finances. I trusted him to take care of everything, but recently, I've started to feel uneasy. When I ask about our savings, bills or retirement plans, he either brushes me off or gives vague answers. I don't know if he's hiding something or if he just doesn...Read more

'Choose each other every day': Boise LGBTQ+ couple contends with the Idaho Legislature
BOISE, Idaho — While visiting Flying M Coffee, one of their favorite downtown Boise haunts, Chelsea Gaona-Lincoln pretended to go to the gift shop before returning to her table with Van Beechler-Lincoln carrying a personalized flipbook that told the story of their love. On the table between them was a ship in a bottle that Van’s friend had ...Read more
Millennial Life: Before Answers, Before Action
It's never good when you get the doctor on the phone to update you on the results.
This could have been a slightly chirpy column about how this millennial went for her first mammogram. But now it's another essay about the in-between -- before answers, before action.
Thanks to the state of our medical world, I'm now waiting for an unspecified ...Read more

Ask Anna: Surviving a partner's obsessive FIRE journey
Dear Anna,
I'm at my wit's end with my partner’s extreme focus on achieving FIRE (financial independence, retire early). What started as a healthy interest in personal finance has turned into an all-consuming obsession. We're both 29 and have lived together the last year. My boyfriend has become fixated on retiring by 35, which means saving ...Read more
Single File: Father as Co-Nurturer
You and I live in interesting times, which, according to ancient Chinese wisdom, equates with being accursed. But womanly intuition prods me (ever so gently) to believe those wise men might well reconsider after learning the supersized changes in our species' parenting roles. Women are released from their household universe and finding ...Read more