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Have you ever wondered how Protestant denominations acquired their names? I'll tell you anyway.

As a little boy growing up in Armonk, New York, I attended what I then called the "Epissabull" church, little knowing that "Episcopal" comes from the Late Latin "episcopus" (bishop) or that those baskets they passed around were for putting money into, not taking it out. The Episcopal church is so named because its dioceses are administered by bishops.

Down the street was the Methodist church, named for the methodical study and prayer practiced by a small group of Oxford University students during the 1720s. Led by John and Charles Wesley, these diligent lads, derisively dubbed "Methodists" by their less studious classmates, reportedly founded Methodism during a rare study break at the university snack bar.

Another disparaging name that stuck is "Quakers." Members of the Society of Friends, a sect founded during the 1600s by George Fox, were known for violently shuddering with religious emotion, just as their less animated Puritan neighbors were known for violently shuttering their windows whenever the Friends started vibrating.

When Fox was convicted of blasphemy in 1650, he boldly commanded the presiding judge to tremble at the word of the Lord. Bad move. The judge, stirred but not shaken, promptly gave Fox a prison term and his followers a new name -- "Quakers."

A small sect who spun off, quite literally, from the Quakers became so famous for their energetic gyrations that they were called "Shakers." And, after some burly employees of United Van Lines joined the sect, they were sometimes called "movers and Shakers."

The Mennonites are named for Menno Simons, a former Roman Catholic priest who organized this sect in Europe around 1550. And, no, Menno was not the long-lost brother of Harpo, Chico and Groucho, though Groucho did enjoy making jokes about sects.

In 1690, a group of Swiss Mennonites broke away from the main church in a complex theological dispute over who got to wear the funniest straw hats. They were called the Amish, not because they found the main church amiss, but because their leader was Jacob Ammann.

"Baptists" take their name from the Greek verb "baptisein" (to dip or immerse in water). Also enrolled in this total language immersion program were the German Baptist Brethren whose three nicknames were all watered-down versions of the German verb "tunken" (to dip): "Tunkers," "Dunkards" and, when competing in the interfaith basketball league, "Dunkers."

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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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