ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: When it comes to relationships, I feel completely lost. I'm a 35-year-old divorced woman with two children, and while part of me feels like I might be ready to step back into the dating world, another part of me is terrified. My relationship with my ex-husband ended painfully, and I don't want to go through that kind of hurt again. The idea of opening up to someone new, trusting them and potentially getting my heart broken feels overwhelming. On top of that, I know dating is going to be much more complicated now that I have children. I'm not just looking for someone who is right for me; I need to consider how a new partner would fit into my children's lives as well. Will they be understanding of my responsibilities as a mother? Will they accept that my kids will always come first? If I do find someone great, when is the right time to introduce them to my children?

I also worry about how to balance my own happiness with my kids' needs. I don't want to rush into something just because I feel lonely, but at the same time, I don't want to close myself off from the possibility of love. How do I continue this next chapter without letting fear hold me back? -- Want To Date

DEAR WANT TO DATE: Take a deep breath and trust that you can do this. You do not have to figure out the way it is all going to work out before you go on date one. Allow yourself to meet people and go out and have a nice time. Don't include your children. Get to know your potential suitor. Find out their interests and desires. If you use a dating site, list what's important to you -- including your children. Make no requirements.

As you get to know anyone who interests you, take the time to see if they might be right to meet your children. Take it one step at a time, and remember to have fun along the way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was dating a guy for a few months, and it was really sweet. He understood me so much that I really started to believe that there was something special between us -- that is, until he ghosted me. Throughout our relationship, I noticed that he would disappear for a few days at a time in terms of calling or texting. He assured me that's just how he is. This time, though, it has been a few weeks with nothing. I reached out by text to ask why he stopped calling me. No response. My feelings are hurt, but I think I should stop asking even though I desperately want to know what I did to make him disappear. -- Ghosted

DEAR GHOSTED: Trust your instinct, and don't reach out again. Obviously he doesn't intend to answer you, or he would have already. Dry your tears and move on. I'm so sorry you can't get closure on this one, but begging him to respond is not healthy for you. Let him go.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole

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